I need answers

Second post here. I saw a lot of posts here and thanks to them i can better understand what i am feeling towards certain topics i see when i relapse.

My kink is size difference. When i relapse, i sometimes watch loli hentai contents. I know it’s bad and illegal, and i’m really shameful about it.
It’s not about the age, but about the size difference between the men and the women. Also, it’s not about the content i see, but the dopamine shot of seeing gross stuff. when i got the dopamine shot, i’m really shameful about what i saw, and i tried to promise myself to never see it again but it failed almost everytime. But last time, my girlfriend saw what i see when i relapse. She’s really angry, disgusted and disappointed about me and i want to stop everything.

Right now, i’m writing this message when i’m alone in the house, to distract myself from doing it.

Please tell me that i can recover from it. I just want to be healthy and having a good relationship without needing a shot of dopamine everytime i’m alone.