Should I (W41) tell friend (M40) about his hygiene issues?
I met a man over a year ago on a dating app. We went on one date but I did not continue seeing him romantically. I noticed then that he has poor hygiene (unwashed clothes, stale body odor and bad breath). I did not give a reason - just declined a second date. We are not compatible for a couple reasons but attraction is not there. I typically do not tell people I do not find them attractive though I feel it is a good enough reason not to continue dating.
Since then we have developed a friendship because we share the same subculture/niche hobby. At the beginning of the year we started seeing each other about once a week in a larger social group. I like his personality and he is a funny and kind guy. Our relationship is more than an acquaintance level but I would not describe us as close friends.
I believe he has developed a crush on me. I normally can handle these type of issues with dating and rejection fine but this feels personal.
If he asked me I would tell him the truth. Should I give unsolicited advice regarding his hygiene coupled with the fact that I do not feel a romantic connection?
I don't want to present this as a to-do list because I would not sleep with him or date him even if he "fixed" this. I believe this affects his dating life. He is a smoker and so are many of his friends which is maybe why they do not notice.
Advice is welcome.
My hunch is to not tell him but as I get to know him more i feel some obligation as a friend.
Posted Aug 3, 2026, 1:54 PM UTC