My father has an extremely unhealthy emotional attachment to me and I am terrified

TRIGGER WARNING: abuse, childhood sa

I 21f moved in with my father 57m in September of last year following a major surgery that rendered me unable to do a lot, I moved in with him under the impression that he would help me get a car and a license, which I was previously unable to do due to my surgery…..I couldn’t have been more wrong…

For a little more background, when I was young, my mother and father separated in an extremely nasty divorce, there was a rumor that my father had been molesting me, I don’t remember this happening but at the time I would have been about 2 or 3, I’ve always advocated heavily that my father was innocent but..I’m not so sure anymore, he said he has paperwork for the rape kits but I’ve never seen them..and when I ask about them they’re “somewhere in the shed”

Because of their separation I didn’t know my father for 15 years of my life, I only met him again last year when my older sister re-Introduced us

My mother has a narcissistic personality disorder complicated with what I suspect to be sociopathy (I don’t know the correct term sorry), but she abused me pretty much every way but sexually my entire life and last year after I had major surgery and she was purposefully hoarding my pain meds from me while I was in agony, I called up my friends and left with some of my belongings, I never looked back

I moved in with my father not long after that, I felt uncomfortable at first and I just assumed it was because I hadn’t seen him in a very long time and I was just unfamiliar with him…after a little while I started noticing things that weren’t normal, he would get really weird when my friends would come to visit me, he would be fine when they would come over and even give me a little money to spend when we went out on a small outing (I couldn’t be out more than a few hours because I would get extremely tired) but when I would come home and it was just me and him, he would be almost angry with me, because I went out, complaining about the things I bought with the money I was given and asking every place we went

After that weird things started happening, I would notice him looking at my chest, my behind, and just looking at me in a way a father shouldn’t, one day I was talking to my stepmother about how I was going to take a break from doing my makeup every day, because it was harmful to my skin type and my father said “what?, you’re not trying to look pretty for me anymore?” I thank God for my stepmother she turned to him and went “what the fuck?, that’s your daughter!!”

When I tried to buy a car with my tax return he made all sorts of excuses “that’s too far away” “that’s not inspected”

Fast forward to around 5 months ago, I wanted something to do, I was bored and honestly was looking for a connection, I got into online dating and met my boyfriend 21M, he is everything I’ve ever dreamed of and he has truly changed the way I love and how I see the world for the better, with him I feel like I can do anything I put my mind to, he makes me feel so happy and safe, and so very loved, I would be lost without him.

Yet every time he comes to pick me up my father says “running away again?” In a passive aggressive manner, or any time my boyfriend is a little late, my father will say “is *bf name* still coming?” And then laugh hysterically, my father will also get angry when my boyfriend helps me move ahead in life in any way, even if it’s something small

Then there was the incident this morning that led me to make this post, my boyfriends family invited me to Christmas and I was so overjoyed, however they live in another state and we would be flying there for the holidays.

I realized I need to update my ID in order to fly, I made the appointment and told my dad about the appointment, I tried to pass it off as something that was needed for my driving but he caught on and asked me where I was flying…the dialogue went like this

“Where are you going?”

Me: “to *state boyfriend is from”*

*“Why?”*

*Me: “they invited me to Christmas….”*

*“Yeah?.”*

*Me: “yeah, I love you dad but stepmom’s family* makes me feel invisible, I can’t spend another holiday with them, I can ask *stepmom* to do it, it’s okay if you don’t want to take me”

Him: “WHEN THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT!?!??”

I was scared, really scared, he’s never yelled at me like that before, but I didn’t tell him about Christmas for like a month because I knew he would be very upset

After I get my license and a car I plan on leaving and never ever going back, I don’t want him in my life anymore

Advice is appreciated and support is appreciated even more

TIA