one of my bridesmaids is being an absolute jerk and I have no idea what to do

I’m (27F) getting married this Saturday (!!!) and I am beyond excited because I’m marrying my best friend and the love of my life (31M)!! These 6 years together have been the best I’ve ever had and I cannot wait for us to celebrate our love with all our favorite people. My bridesmaid lineup consists of my 5 closest friends (I feel very lucky in that I have so many people I call my best friend who also feel that in return) and my sister. One of them has been a very dear friend of mine for 7 years now and we have a very close bond. Or so I thought.

I have no idea what to do but he has become so mean recently, it’s driving me nuts. It sort of started like 8 months ago, I just started noticing random rude comments and tried to either laugh it off or address it in the moment in a soft way but it seems to keep escalating.

Some context: I enrolled in college again last year to start the process of finishing my degree prior to knowing I’d get engaged last summer, so my summer 2025-now has been super busy between my full-time marketing job and wedding planning and full-time college (as a design major nonetheless! so hella projects!). This is relevant because this friend who is being mean loves to go out and I’ve had to turn down several offers in the last year as a result of simply not being able to with how much work was on my plate. I would expect any of my friends to treat me as I treat them in this case, which is to say, with understanding and kindness. He started to become offended by this, but I’d always offer to hang out in a non-club or non-party context during a week night for a few hours but he would never take me up on this! I also have CPTSD and while I do love festival season and the occasional party, I get anxious during outings and am always the first to go home. I’m also bi and everyone in my party except my sister is queer too.

Fast forward to a few months later and it seems like all he ever talks about is doing drugs at the club and how I should “really go out” with them and it just got me concerned. So I asked him two months ago if he had been on any drug that wasn’t weed and this started a shitstorm. I asked because he was being really weird at a bridal party planning meet-up and treating me coldly and also talking about how much I’d love cocaine and could just try it with him to be safe or whatever (this is a hard boundary for me, I always tell them im good) so it wasn’t like this was out of the blue? nor was it an accusation.. I said “can you please be 100% honest with me, did you do any drugs last night that weren’t weed?” and followed it up with a comment about how vibes were off and ketamine was mentioned out loud and we hadn’t had a conversation in weeks that wasn’t about drugs. I totally could have handled that differently, but I was upset, this is someone I’m really close to (or so I thought) who has been treating me poorly and acting strangely. And also has been insulting my other friends or members of my bridal party :( Anyway, this caused so much drama and I just cried for a week straight begging my friend to be chill and talk to me. They kept blaming the thought they were on drugs on my fiancé with no basis really despite me saying several times, I had the thought, I was the one that texted you and asked! Don’t bring him into this!

I’ve invested so much time and money into this day, my fiancé even more, and I thought him being a part of my day would be a celebration of a ton of really good years. He’s been sour and secretive with me and it’s just odd behavior. I didn’t know about his new partner for months when he usually tells me everything, then when we met in April, he was like “oh ya we’ve been together for like two months, talking for more” … ok!!!!

This is a best friend that I catsit for, take out to nice dinners, cook for, bike with, game with… someone I treasure who is now treating me like an inconvenience. Yesterday I had everyone over to make centerpieces with me (a $600 expense…) and he started to..

1. get pushy with me over how the day is going to go (I read the itinerary me and my wedding planner made and he has beef with every part of it even tho the rest of my party likes it)

2. make a comment about me not inviting his +1 to the very intimate Friday night dinner happening with JUST OUR FAMILY.. mind you, he didn’t even tell me abt this new boyfriend until recently and we are not close so why would I invite him?? No one else has a plus one, one partner of one bridesmaid is invited bc she helped me plan so much and is helping me get flowers for the big day - she’s part of me and my fiancé’s life and will be for a long time! I told him it’s not personal but I can ask if his bf could come, it’s just a small family party so I didn’t consider his bf I don’t really know. And he was like “hmmm so interesting how X can bring someone but I can’t” and I was like ?? It’s not like that but I can ask! I just don’t want to take advantage of a family day! and he ignored me :)

3. I had an offhand idea that we could pool together our resources and bring disposable cameras or personal cameras to take pictures of us getting ready since my photographer will come right before the ceremony and instead of being normal about this he asks me “so are you providing cameras to us” like??? NO I HAVE PROVIDED LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE!!! why are you asking me! it’s also like max $30 to get one or find one!!! we have so many friends who are creatives including all of my bridal party like they are around?? why are you being so entitled!

4. keeps telling me how things “typically are” when I’ve told him before I don’t want to do things in a typical way. We aren’t having a traditional wedding and it’s not religious and we’re doing things at a comfortable pace for us and our family. the structure is what it is because I need it to not be super formal, it’s going to be a really fun outdoorsy day.

I basically just spent yesterday crying on my porch alone while the party made centerpieces - my other buds checked on me but he did not.

I don’t come from money, my parents aren’t helping me and my fiancé with this at all. I work really hard and have been trying to give my friends the best day possible.

Also worth mentioning that my fiancé is a literal earth angel and 4/6 of my bridesmaids adore him and have their own friendship (in my sister’s case, fondness) with him, the 5th one likes him a lot, and I thought the friend in question liked him too but he’s been having unnecessary subtle beef with him recently for like no reason.

TL;DR: someone I thought is my best friend is being really snotty to me and other members of my bridal party. Wedding is in 5 days. Do I talk to him about it, have a bridesmaid talk to him about it, or let it go and focus on my happiness? Do I ask him to drop out? TIA!