AITA friend?

I gave this friend, i will name them Tom for this post. Tom and I met at a job we both worked at almost 5 years ago. We both don't work there any longer... but Tom and I text nearly every single day. He is also gay, and I am straight (and married for 20 years) we are obviously older than our 20's lol (were mid 40's).

Like I mentioned, we text normally every day. Which for the most part I don't mind, it's usually like a "morning. Little statement. Funny remark. Meme." Then we go on with our day. Then there are weeks, or solid months where its just.... non stop. Tom will text me over 20 times a day, which burns me out cause I work a BUSY physical job. Most of these texts are during my working hours, which he knows. Tgsn he starts getting needy. "Did you watch the three fmvideos i sent you?" No, because they're all 20 minutes long and about commercials from the 90's, or crazy nonsense that I don't care about.

He knows I get one day off with my partner, and half the time he's blowing up my phone on that day.

Some of his videos, or images he sends me are questionable. Like, weirdly sexu@l, or having sexual undertones (like he once send me a video of thos man flipping through this book of drawings of rats having human-like sƏx). There was this one time while boasting that he's a gay man, but he's "got his woman" (and i questioned - does he mean ME, cause, um, NOPE- or is he meaning his cat?)

I'm about to start going through surgery and radiation for cancer, so while having someone check in on me is nice (none of my other friends even have), I'm finding I'm starting to get really weirded out, and burned out on this....

AITAH?