I tend to explain myself instead of comforting others during conflict. How can I change this?

I recently had separate conversations with my best friend and my boyfriend about different conflicts . I'm someone who feels emotions pretty deeply, and I tend to cry during arguments. I know it's okay to have emotions, but they both gave me similar feedback that made me start to reflect on how I handle conflict with others.

They told me that during conflicts, they sometimes feel like they're the ones comforting me more than the other way around. They don't necessarily feel emotionally comforted or reassured by my responses, even when I apologize.

I realized that my instinct is usually to explain my perspective so the other person understands why I acted the way I did. I do apologize when I'm wrong, but I think I often move into explaining myself before the other person feels emotionally heard. Looking back, I can see how that might make my responses feel more centered on me than on what they're experiencing.

I really appreciated both of them being honest with me because I want to improve. I'm trying to show through my actions that I mean my apologies, but I still struggle with comforting people during serious conversations.

For people who are naturally good at emotional support, how do you make someone feel seen and understood before explaining your own perspective? What helped you learn this skill?