Whiplash

Truthfully,

I wonder, If you felt the whiplash too?

Yes I do, no I don't. I love you, no, I fucking hate you.

I crave you, I need you, then I criticize & despise you

How did you get through my defences? How did you see me ?

I am always misunderstood, so easily misperceived

Often presumed to be someone I have never been

I want you forever, I admit it. And it terrifies me.

So now I swing back and forward between intense love and desire and fear that the intimacy I want will destroy me

And there is a big difference between being versus feeling loved

And lately, I don't feel it, am I? Do you? All I do is question

Is the problem reality, the truth, my ability to believe ? Or your expression?

I thought you were safe? Was that all a delusion?

I just want to rest in your arms preferably, so I can put down the messy complexity

To love and be loved, To exist freely, joyfully, peacefully.