Heart Rate

"Your heart rate rose above 120 BPM while you seemed to be inactive for 10 minutes."

Shut up, watch. I know. It takes some energy to run so many scenarios in my head. My heart has to work hard to feel so many emotions just from her needing a ride. She's been making it work overtime for some time now.

You want me to show up? I'll show up. You know I will, any time. For you it's just me being reliable. For me it's a small way to say "you're important to me" without saying too much. Without saying anything, really.

Not the first time, not the last.

Hopefully.

I don't even care about a thank you. But you could at least look at me. We just had a nice chat earlier today and now it's almost silence when I see you?

It's as if you're doing this on purpose. Maybe you are. Maybe you don't even know how much I want you to see me.

Maybe it's just another little game. Not the first time either. Or maybe I've just gotten too good at seeing context even when there's nothing new. That might just be the real addiction. We both know it has a lot to feed on. Even if neither of us will admit anything out loud. Don't we all love puzzles with no answers?

Doesn't change what I'll do next time you call my phone and need something. We both know.