28 and made bad life decisions. I've disappointed the younger me.

Problem/Goal:

I feel like I'm living in an alternate reality / parallel timeline where instead of making the successful decisions, I made the worst ones. I'm a jobless virgin who has no life.

Context:

Have I tried confessing to women? Yes I have. In my early 20s and late teens: I put them on a pedastal, wrote letters, sent flowers which resulted in them losing attraction to me, and I get abandoned. Somehow I never learn too. I'm genuinely cooked when it comes to dating.

Have I tried working? Yes I did. I used to work in Manila for almost 3 years in a prestigious office. I had a steady income, but I got burnt out. I couldn't handle the fast paced life. I went back to my hometown, in the countryside where it's a lot stress free but the downside is there are no real job opportunities.

I was also interested in my coworker who was my senior but I "kept it professional" / in other words decided na maging tanga and never told her I liked her, and left the company without saying a word to her.

It's been more than a year since I left my job and I'm not getting any offers. My job is very niche, and it's slowly being replaced with AI, and even though I've applied to hundreds of companies I'm not getting any answers. I genuinely don't know what to do about my career.

Have I tried making new friends? At my age, I honestly don't even know how to talk to people or become part of a community. I live in a small rural town where everyone already knows each other. I don't go to university, I'm not part of any clubs, and there really aren't any opportunities like that here anyway.

All of my high school classmates have moved on with their own lives, and I was never especially close to them anyway. My interests are also really weird, I've never been to orchestral concerts but I always wanted to.

It's also tough because I missed out on those high school or college moments you always see in movies: finding your people, joining clubs, sharing hobbies, and making lifelong friends. At this point, it feels much harder to stumble into those kinds of connections.

There's a lot more to it but I can't write it all in one post. People have lost interest and belief in me, and I feel like I disappointed many people. No one is genuinely expecting anything from me anymore. It really hurts when you see that in real time. Most of all I feel that I disappointed my child self who always just wanted to be financially free and find happiness.