Struggling to understand my religious stance

Hi, everyone!

I'm a 16F from Delhi, India. I've grown up in a Hindu household. Now, my mother and most of my extended family are more religious. As in, they partake in all these vrats (fasts) and pujas and sawan. I don't think I'll judge them for doing what they are, they've the right to believe in all that. But the problem is that they are rather forceful about religion.

Like, they'd force us to take part in all these customs and stuff that I do not want to be a PART of. And you know, stupid superstitions that they'd get mad over. I'm also a non-vegetarian, and chicken specifically is very integral to my diet. I also do not practice eating only veg food during sawan, durga puja, etc. But my grandmother and mother yet again force me to sometimes.

I feel like the way they've tried to impose religion on me has made me really repulsed by it. Like, I do not think that people who believe in all of it are wrong or anything. I also do like to believe in the existence of a God (maybe, or perhaps it's just the conditioning that I cannot get rid of). The primary reason I don't really identify as a atheist is because I'd say I'm just highly repulsed by ultra-religious people or just a lot of practices. Pardon me because I am finding it a bit hard to explain. I think that a lot of these customs are bullshit made up by humans.

I think the modern day Hindutva politics also play a huge role in how I've started to view Hindus because I don't know man, it's always the most religious people believing this shit. I feel like I just have a problem with the modern version of the religion, maybe? Or like, the hardcore or forced versions. I don't know. Help??