My war with trichotillomania

I have been pulling out my eyebrow and eyelash hairs since I was 11. Now I’m 24. I didn’t do it for a good couple of years. And just recently started again but only with my eyelashes. I just got a surgery done and that has gotten me so anxious and worried. Everything turned out great and only time will tell how my surgery went (eye surgery). This whole process triggered me to start pulling again. My dad this morning checked on my eye to make sure it was doing good and I’m sure he noticed my eyelashes are gone. Even though I thought I only did a couple I guess I overdid it. I feel so embarrassed to say the least. I feel like I was doing such an amazing job for years. And now I feel like I’m going back to my old habits. I’m so embarrassed I want to cry. I just don’t want any comments about it. I’ve been through so much the last couple of months. I just feel like I need a break from chaos 🫠. Anyways just wanted to vent and share my story here.