Scared something is wrong with my 4 yr old daughter ?

Hello -

I have a 4 yr old girl who I love immensely. The past couple months have been so challenging with her and I’m scared something’s wrong. Anytime I google the way my daughter behaves - behavioral correction topics pop up ( like read so and so book and don’t give in to her tantrums) but so does the terms ADHD and Autism. A lot of Reddit posts describe the way my daughter behaves and people in the comments almost always say “get them evaluated” or “that’s how my kid was before she was diagnosed”. It scares me. I have always struggled at the fact that I might have a child with health problems as I have bad health anxiety. I’m scared but also at my wits end with the way she behaves.

Let me paint the picture of how she acted yesterday: the night before she went to bed at 9:30 PM she woke up at 7 AM. Doesn’t matter if she goes to bed late her internal clock goes off at 7 every day. She woke up and wanted to be on top of me I said no go back to sleep as I was tired and wanted to relax. She then got up to hear the cat crying for food so she came into my room again and said mom get up now the cat is meowing but like whining over and over pulling on my shirt. My cat always meows and can wait a bit and I told her that. She wouldn’t have it she screamed and threw a book at me. I put her out my room and she freaked out. My husband put her in her room while she screamed and cried at 7 am. I was so worried what the neighbors think because she screams SO loudly. She finally stopped and played on her own for a little. I got up fed the cat had my coffee made food for her and went to go lay back down. I felt drained and depressed. She then comes into my room and asks if she can get on my bed I said yes. She lays down singing jibberish loudly which was annoying but I didn’t say anything. She then proceeded to kick my side table against the wall. I told her to stop she said no and kept doing it. I said if you keep it up I’ll put you out - she did it more. I got her off the bed and gave her another warning. She gets back on the bed and in turn starts kicking the bed frame. That was it I put her outside- queue another meltdown.

My husband lets her watch a little tv and when it was time to turn it off another meltdown and she even tried to hit him. I had it I wanted to cry and I did in the shower. She saw me cry and felt bad. The way she is- is that she over powers us we feel helpless and scared what others around us think. Throughout the whole day yesterday she was bad, loud and obnoxious. She yells constantly and is rude. She constantly talks over me and her father so we cant even have a conversation. I’m so done but also so scared and worried for her.

We also went on a trip not long ago where her bed time and routine was completely all over the place and she acted terribly the whole time. Screaming in the car for 15-20 min until she fell asleep multiple times.

Me and her father try - we are far from perfect but we do everything for her and have always given her everything and I just don’t understand how it’s gotten here. It’s everyday.

She does also freak out when she gets wet? That’s sensory right - ugh there are so many things. She likes putting her shoes on backwards, changing a million times a day, if something’s tight she freaks. She doesn’t independently play often she always wants me or her dad. But she also is incredibly smart and loves to play with friends. She’s beyond social and has many friends. I just don’t know.

I’m worried it will get worse. I’m worried she will be labeled or things will go bad once she starts TK.