AITAH for calling my friend gay?

So I (18f) saw a reel on Instagram and sent it to my friend (18f). The reel basically said something like, "trying to defend urself in the gc from two ppl who are basically married." I sent it to my friend because she calls one of my other friends wifey and the other says it back too. I basically told her, "haha, this is you two fr." And she said that it's platonic and followed that by, "can't crack her." I saw this and decided to tease her about it texting, "it's platonic being followed by can't crack her 💀" I then teased her and called her gay and said that she shouldn't be ashamed and it's pride month so she should embrace herself. My tone in the text was clearly light and humorous. She decided to then say that she is serious that she doesn't like being called gay, she's not supportive of the LGBTQ+ community and that she hates pride month with a burning passion(her exact words btw).

The thing is I am queer and we live in a very Conservative country where people can get arrested or lynched for being queer. I, myself have faced a lot of discrimination for being queer. So hearing my friend whom I've known for years, who always seemed open minded and supportive of these issues, say that really struck a nerve. So I fired back with a logical response, "if u don't like gay stuff then why are you talking one rn? And if you don't like being called gay then why do you call another girl your wife?" I showed her how contradictory and hypocritical it was.

She fired back saying that, "I am normal around gay people as long as they don't call me gay. I do not and will not ever support this shit." I retorted back by saying, "why is being called gay offensive? is it wrong bad or an insult?" We argued for a while back and forth and when I asked her why she doesn't like gay people she replied, "It's because of my ex. He said he was straight when he was gay and had two bfs." After hearing that I was ready to drop the whole thing because after hearing I understood she was acting that way because of the betrayal she received. And also she hadn't told me about her ex before so I asked her to tell me more because I was genuinely shocked and wanted to know if she was okay.

After I asked her, she said that she's not going to share unnecessary details with someone who can't see her side. That honestly felt even harsher than her homophobic comments to me especially since we did use to be very close . I replied that I cannot understand your side if you don't tell me and that I'm asking because I'm genuinely concerned.

She kept being angry with me and saying homophobic things and she didn't share anything about her ex after that. She said I shouldn't have dragged this out so much and should've stooped after she laid her boundaries and said she didn't like being called gay. I agree I should've respected her boundaries but I truly didn't understand she was offended because I wasn't insulting her or saying something that I consided to even be offensive. Regardless, I apologised to her and have respected her boundaries and not made any jokes like after that because I'm not above admitting my mistakes. But even though I told her that words and actions had also hurt me and made me uncomfortable, she did not issue a single apology or addressed why she suddenly became like this or even shared things with me.

We ended up fighting about other things too and we basically don't even speak that much anymore. I know that this seems like a very non-issue thing but that interaction has had me genuinely upset because we used to be very close when we were kids and I made a promise to myself that if someone's being disrespectful to me and they don't show accountability or change I will just cut them off instead of keeping toxic relationships and being a pushover. So, AITAH?