My OCD doesn't even let me enjoy my hobbies anymore..

This is my first ever post on this subreddit. I made this account a few days ago after I felt guilty about my high screen time and deleted my account. It's been 2 years that I've been feeling like this. For the first few months, movies were like the only thing that made me forget the mess my life was. A few months ago high school ended and things got better since I had a few spare months before college eventually started. It was only for a month that I was at peace with myself. After a month it was the same just like it was 2 years ago. But now I didn't have much to stress about. I keep on ruminating about things I love for example, movies. It was my favourite thing to do. I was so passionate about filmmaking, I watched videos about it, read scripts etc but it's been more than a year since I did that. Now it's kind of worse, I find myself questioning my own beliefs, political, spiritual or anything in general. Sometimes I'm not sure of what I feel, whether I'm faking it to pretend to be a good person, that maybe I'm a bad person. While writing this I don't feel like this but when I do, it's difficult to distinguish it as rumination or something I genuinely feel. I can't watch movies, listen to music, or read books. When I was in high school, I had studies to worry about so I had less time to ruminate about these things but now I have all the time in the world and I can't stop stressing about it. No matter what I do nothing happens even if I try to not think about it or not attention to it. I've tried everything but it comes back every time. I feel like all of this is just in my head and I'm going insane and I can't tell anyone about it. Also English is not my first so kindly bare with it. Oh btw (18M).