I’m currently going through an unwanted dissolution.

My wife of seven years been together for 10 blindsided me Sunday after Easter that she wanted to separate her things. I can’t believe that she decided she wanted to do that when we have a little boy together we’re both really good parents together ultimately though I do not think she wanted the Mom life after he turned about a year and a half she started going to stay the night with her friends an hour away, leaving me with the child even when I voiced my opinion that it feels like she’s dumping the kid off on me. She would say I need to be able to go and do whatever I want without consequences. I never had any problem with watching the child myself. I adore the boy.It’s the message that she was sending to me. “ you take care of the kid and I’m gonna go spend the night with my friends and their family” i’ve never had an issue with her, seeing her friends or spending time with her friends. It was simply the fact that there was a child at home and she was spending the night with them please somebody tell me am I crazy for not liking the fact that she would spend the night with her friends while she has a child. She would do it 2 to 3 times per month, sometimes one time where she would leave me with the child and go off on her own.

I never worried about infidelity, even though I do not trust her one bit.

So basically ever since the weekend after Easter up until about three weeks ago, I tried my absolute hardest to try to repair to fix. Go to counseling. Try to get something from her that she needs for me so that I can provide it because I wanna keep my family together every time I would ask her a guiding question like “how can I love you” “give me a road map to repair” “what can I do to repair” the answers to all those questions was always “I don’t know“

I was emotionally, exhausted, giving her so much for months straight dealing with the uncertainty of not seeing my son half the time or having my wife who I do love not being in my life.

When she finally said that she was leaving, it was like a weight got, lifted off my shoulders, but only temporarily because now the grief has set in. She’s taking my son to a not so desirable Neighbourhood while she has them there’s a sex offender that lives immediately across the street.
Nobody talks about how hard it is to go from talking to somebody every day seeing pictures of your son sent in family group chats every day always knowing what he’s up to to just being alone wondering what’s going on.
I really hate her for what she’s done. She knew the whole time she was leaving, but she led me on for months at a time 48 hours before she decided she was leaving. She gave me a hug and a kiss. Goodbye before work the day before she left my son and I and her were flying a kite in the yard and she was sending pictures of us to my family group chat the very next day I offered to drive her out of state because she hasn’t been feeling good and there was a death in the family and she told me that she didn’t want me to drive her and my son. I was disheartened by her, not letting me go I thought it would be a good thing for us to get to spend time in the car together, but because I was a little upset that she was not letting me go. She said that I don’t respect her feelings and that’s when she cut it off. I hope no man or woman has to go through this easily the most difficult thing I’ve ever gone through, I already miss her family and her brothers. I miss my son because he’s with her now she no longer has any relationship with my family who helped us tremendously throughout our marriage.

I feel insanely betrayed. I feel lied too. I feel played. I feel like a loser. Now I’m wondering if I’m gonna be alone forever and she’s gonna move on like nothing ever happened.