When will I feel normal again?

I’m 5 days post op DI, and the post op depression is hitting hard. I have no clue if my recovery is going well, but to be honest I kind of assume it’s not. I have full numbness across my chest, over my entire pectoral and stretching beneath my armpit. Everything is itchy and uncomfortable. I can’t move, can’t sleep, cant stand up straight, can’t get comfortable. I don’t feel like myself. I’m so zoned out and disconnected from my body. My father isn’t accepting and I’m doing this without his knowledge, so I’m sitting here going through massive waves of anxiety that he’s going to find out somehow. I’m 19 but he could completely pull funding for my education and cut me off from my inheritance by claiming I’m mentally ill. Before surgery those “what-ifs” seemed beatable but now I’m terrified of them. I haven’t been sleeping well because I have to sit up while I sleep, so maybe that’s why. Anyway, my question is: How long do I have to struggle through this, or is this just how it’s kinda gonna be from now on? When will I start feeling like my regular self again, or is this just the new normal?

Anyway, sorry if this is too emotionally charged, it’s been a rough time emotionally recently.