Lack of emotional connection

Hi! This is among my very first posts ever made on the entire Reddit platform, but I will try to be as explicit as possible.

The lack of emotional connection is starting to become deeper as time goes by, from what I’ve observed. I am a person who self-examines quite a lot, due to the anxiety I’ve had for as long as I can remember.

I’m 25, M, and I’ve been through relationships over time that created a lot of PTSD for me (drug abuse, body shaming, deep disappointment, betrayal, destruction of trust, etc.). Such events reinforced my anxiety, and I started feeling states of restlessness, sweaty palms, and mind-made spirals much more intensely than ever before. This specific issue triggered fairly recently, about 7 months ago.

I’ve been single since then, trying all this time to recover mentally. I consider that I went through an extremely severe withdrawal from relational chemicals (dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, etc.) because I was abandoned in an extremely deep way. Also, at the same time, I experienced withdrawal from illegal chemicals—specifically drugs. In the meantime, I managed to escape that dark period in life—going from hitting rock bottom, failing to get out of bed, vomiting everything I ate, not sleeping for days, to loving sleep, eating anything, and exercising 5–6 times a week (gym).

I managed to change a lot about myself—physical appearance, hair, beard, etc.—I evolved in terms of emotional intelligence, and I started self-educating during all this time by reading, looking for hobbies, and learning about all kinds of topics that interested me.

I also tried to shift my attachment style from anxious to a more secure one: empathizing more deeply, managing my stress, stepping out of spirals when they start, not worrying as much if I get rejected by the opposite sex, no longer thinking pessimistically all the time but rather optimistically, quitting vices that intensified my anxious states, etc. So, I consider that I’ve evolved quite a lot in a fairly short period, I could say.

However, even though I’ve changed so much from every point of view—even when it comes to what I’d want from a partner (moving from chaos, intensity, full of novelty and full of unpredictability=> stability, safety, a "boring but peaceful life" type of relationship)—it is becoming increasingly difficult to meet someone I can relate to, even mentally.

Don't get me wrong, I’ve kept interacting with girls during this time, but none seemed alright enough for my standards, though there were cases where I felt they did meet them. Still, even when I felt that, at certain moments, there was a connection between me and that person, I didn't feel the feeling was mutual. I ended up having more fails than wins.

This aspect somehow creates moments of sadness and loneliness for me, which act like a virus, spreading over everything I’ve improved about myself so far, making me believe that I’m "a lost cause" or something like that.

What could I do regarding these matters? How could I break out of this loop of failures?

I live in a fairly small town that, with each passing year, is becoming more and more dead—people my age are moving to the capital or other cities, and I’m stuck here due to some issues. I socialize, I have a friend group, and I go out almost every weekend, even if the venues I go to are the same because I don't have many options to choose from.

I would like to hear opinions or, if any exist, other experiences similar to mine, so I can read advice or recommendations—anything you think might help me combat this lonely period I'm currently in.

Also, I am very happy to answer any questions that might help clarify the situation! Thank you so much!