How do I become a normal person?

I've 'recovered' (by mysef, kind of accidentally) from my restrictive ED around a year / two years ago, which I've developed from having a some type of BED my entire life. I don't want to go back to how I was but I can't keep feeling like I'm >!gaining weight !<and I have no idea how to eat like a normal person, it's always too little or too much, and I don't want to count again.

My fear comes from the fact that tw:weight >!I used to be at stage 2 obesity !<so I know it's possible to get that back.

Any advice would be appreciated cause I'm slowly starting to feel like I'll always need to count so what's the point of even quitting :(