Surviving a life I never thought I’d live.

I always thought I was a happy-go-lucky girl. Akala ng iba, that's just who I am. But the truth is, I grew up with everyone around me somehow imprinting this idea that I wouldn't last long. Parang my future was never something people saw for me, and eventually, I believed it too.

So I never made plans. I never dreamed too far ahead because, in my mind, bakit pa? I didn't think I'd make it this far anyway. Now I'm in my twenties, and somehow I'm still here. The problem is... I have no idea what to do with this life I never expected to have.

I feel so lost. Wala akong direction. Parang everyone else already has their life figured out while I'm just trying to survive one day at a time. Nothing seems to work out no matter how much I try. It's exhausting to keep pretending I'm okay when, honestly, I'm not.

The "happy-go-lucky" version of me wasn't happiness. It was someone who never thought she'd have to prepare for a future.
And now that the future is here, I don't know where to begin.

I'm tired. So, so so tired.

I guess I'm writing this because I want someone to know that behind all the jokes, the smiles, and the "I'm okay," there's a girl who's quietly hoping life eventually makes sense. Because right now, I genuinely don't know where to go from here.