Husband’s anger affects the whole family.

My husband is a hoarder. I kept my head in the sand for twenty years, but finally couldn’t take it. He and all of his stuff moved out for 18 months. He got a lot of therapy, primarily for anger management and childhood trauma, and moved back in about a year ago. Life is much more calm, and i am happy. Most of his stuff stayed at the other house (we are very lucky i know), but the stuff that is sneaking back in here remains untouchable and unmentionable. Piles in the basement, boxes and piles in the garage, baskets overflowing in our bedroom, socks and debris in the living room. Any mention or request to clean/tidy/organize is met with explosive fury. There is less stuff now, but kids and I still walk on eggshells re his “belongings”. I have unhappily accepted this to some extent because i want this marriage to work. But our now-adult kids are running in to the same wall with him. Our son asked him to clean up his socks off the coffee table yesterday and was met w excuses (“so busy”) and anger (“you are disrespecting me”). My son is now angry at me for accepting this situation and allowing this eggshell lifestyle back into the home. I hate the hoarding and the eggshells/anger that accompanies it. I appreciate any advice on how i can improve the family dynamic. Husband refuses therapy for this problem - he denies there is a problem and thinks we are all too controlling.