Sharing my experience after realising my father is narcissist

I realised that my father is a narcissist 3 months back.

I had a troubled relationship with my ex who had traits of BPD + NPD. While unravelling things from that relationship, I realised she had a lot of similar traits as my father. It still took me a year to completely comprehend that he is a narcissist.

3 months back, my mother was admitted and I visited her. Even in the hospital, my father accused me of something, and I told him how neglectful he had been. He justified it with some story that never happened, and that's when I realised.

For the past few months, I am just realising how absent, neglectful and manipulative he was. I cry every week thinking what I went through, and was comfortable with that sort of treatment. I can't allow anyone ever again to make me feel so bad about myself.

My mother tolerated that treatment, and made me and my sister accept that it is ok to be treated this way by accepting her fate. I feel sad for her, as she actually tried her level best to compensate for what he didn't provide. For me, I feel like I never had a strong male presence (secured and confident) in my life, which is what my mom couldn't provide (obviously) and which makes me sad sometimes.

Does anyone feel like they deserved better and that because of the lack of a healthy parent, they are incomplete. How do I make this feeling go?