I don't know what this is and I'm so alone with this

I'm not sure if this is exactly a mental health issue, but I often feel like I don't deserve support while I want reassurance so desperately. I don't even know for what I want it. I don't have depression, anxiety, trauma or whatever. I do have ADHD but it's managed well by medication. I don't have friends at school but I have real friends out of school. I have an ok family and I'm doing everything well. But I can't stop wanting validation and a hug. I don't know where this need for comfort is coming from and what to do with it. I don't even know what this feeling is called. I just want to stop talking to myself while imagining someone who is willing to hear me vent and feeling miserable that the only person who can actually hold me is myself. Because these things only make me feel lonelier, never better. At this point hearing the word "depressed" makes me want to cry. I feel jealous of people who have it worse because they seem like they have real reasons to say they're struggling. I don't even know if I am. If this is just loneliness that's probably my fault that I didn't try reaching out or making more friends around me, but I couldn't help due to my natural indifference to humans, which makes hard for me to build relationships. And the worst part is that I'll forget this feeling soon and be absolutely sure nothing's wrong once this emotion passes.