I'm so deppressed in motherhood.

I am a 22-year-old mom to a 2-year-old girl. She’s my whole world, and I love her so very much. But I am depressed. I can’t keep denying it. I hate this life. I never wanted kids or marriage. Her father and I are not married, but we have been together for about 7 years. I tell him all this, but what can he do? He’s already working his butt off to provide for this family. But I am not happy. Our sex life sucks. I have no social life, and right now we only have one vehicle and are broke, so I am stuck at home. I do my best to look on the bright side, but I am burned out. I had strict parents before I got pregnant, and now I feel just as shcakled down as I did with my parents. It’s awful. In my teens, the only thing keeping me going was imagining how amazing my 20s would be. And now all I can do is tell myself it will get better. I wanted to travel, meet new people, and make dumb mistakes like a 20-year-old. I see friends/family live the life I wanted, and it breaks my heart to know that they pity me. They used to be proud of me, and now they PITY me. I live in a small town 6 hours away from my mom and my entire family. I don’t have help other than my MIL who watches her on Saturdays and sometimes she spends the night there. But I don’t even have a social life to even enjoy that. My town is 45 minutes away from the nearest city with things to do but who tf was to drive there and back, not I. I have never been suicdial but it’s getting bad. I cannot keep doing this, I am so tired. My whole life has just been spent waiting for something to happen/change. I told my partner all of this and we agreed to not have anymore kids until I am 100% done in college and feel comfortable in my career. But I feel guilty, he wants kids back to back but mentally I just cannot do that, is this all I am? I lost my sparkle I don’t know who I am anymore I want to restart everything. I hate myself, I hate my life. It’s suffocating. All I am is a fat 22-year-old who decided to open her legs unprotected, and now I am even more depressed than when I was a teenager. Yes, I should see a therapist, but that costs money that I do not have, and I do not have insurance. I need things to get better. I mentally cannot do this anymore. Please someone in a similar position tell me it gets better. I do not want to have to wait until I am 30 to actually enjoy life. I don’t think I can wait it out that long. I will probably delete this later.