What if we conceive of lifestyles as being quantized?

In the context of Natalism, I was thinking about emission spectrums lately. In emission spectrums, you don't get more and more light as you add more and more energy; you get the same frequency of light until BAM, you cross the threshold and you get a higher frequency of light.

What if something similar is true of...let's call them 'higher energy states' of human relationships?

I was thinking about incels, for example. An incel has no friends, no job, no opportunities for socialization. Say they go out and try to socialize? What do they talk about? HOW do they talk? They have basically nothing to even begin to get started. For an incel to go from their current state to having a girlfriend, they cannot just go out and get a girlfriend, they basically need to recreate their entire existence; a HUGE investment of energy. They need a job, MULTIPLE social activities, plentiful social practice, and on then luck.

Now, what if we think about other types of human lifestyles in a similar light? Take someone who has a decent job, maybe a relationship, they nominally want kids but they don't have as many as they say they want. Why? Is it just economics? I don't think so. I'd say it's because they've built a lifestyle that must be completely deconstructed to become the sort of person who has as many kids as they theoretically want. They need new friends, a new job, new hobbies.

Now, historically, we basically artificially elevated people into these 'high-level energy states' by default. That is no longer the case. But if we accept this as possible, then it's not going to be enough to just offer incrementally more money. We will need to essentially equal the power of old social mechanisms. I'm not saying that's impossible, mind you. But I doubt it'll be easy.