Overwhelming number of assignments, a WA I really don't give a shit about for some reason, and family matters I can't avoid

I basically don't know what to start this post with, to be frank... I just wanted to write it for some reason and forget.

To start off, WA3 is already in its early process -- the 6th week of the third term this academic year. 5 weeks have gone by, and there comes the 6th week in a whim. I felt like everything's rushed and I've barely done anything... significant. Better yet, I felt like I've not studied enough for the weighted assessment when the schedule is as tightly packed as a can of sardines, I am not adapted to the 4 terms when my whole life is all about a simple two-term academic year -- Mid-Year and End-of-Year. Simple as that.

As for assignments, they're basically revision papers. And I have to admit -- my brain is fvcked, fvcked to the point where I have basically zero motivation, and even answering a long question is already overwhelming, given the fact that some subjects gave little to no revision at all. I don't even know what to look for even if what to study are given.

Back to the WAs, I am really aware that I felt like I don't care about them at all for some reason -- partly to blame the fact the my class environment around me basically don't give a shit, they just take a gamble.

Let me tell something in my opinion: During my time at Sec 1, all of my subjects are G2s -- normal is usual. But I am basically a Jack of All Trades (if you could call that). At the end of that year, I got Science, Mathematics, Geography, and History, promoted to G3, whilst the rest are stuck at G2. Secondary 2 comes in, and I found out most of my G3 classmates aren't as smart as I thought they would be -- they're just lucky to be at G3 from their PSLE. Other than that, my mental capacity is fvcked. I don't know why. Science is just simply too overwhelming. Every single minute detail to be memorised, when the notes are just simply memorising on "how the digestive system works" "radiation, conduction, convection" and such, when the test questions are literally filled with data and sorts. I can't just simply write an answer that 'somehow' makes sense. Even if it makes sense, missing a little keyword and you're screwed. End of story.

Right now, I'm doing pretty well in both English and Literature, so there might be a chance to be promoted to G3 next year.

To family matters. It's not the most peaceful. I could tell that it is basically an Asian family in a nutshell. But it's different. My mother would be nagging in such a tone that pissed me off. That day, I was offered a G3 promotion for Music -- I uploaded the video, filling the criteria just as they wished, and my mother found a part where I could do an alternative way because I never attended a music CCA before. She'd go around again and again and again. I felt like I am a disappointment, a failure towards a family whom they look forward to me so much. I felt like that because of the "Me I used to be" no longer was here, and partly because my interests were basically an outlier in this family. No wonder I became 5'7 fat fucking chud.

That's all I'd like to write. Comment as whatever you wish. Either I'll reply, or not at all. Who knows.

I really need to take a mental health test, you know?