I [27F] am struggling after my boyfriend [29M] admitted he has been testing my loyalty for months instead of trusting me. We've been together for 3 years.

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and until recently I thought we had a healthy relationship. We rarely argued, we split bills fairly, and we both have full-time jobs. I genuinely saw a future with him.

About six months ago I noticed little things that felt strange but I brushed them off. He would casually ask where I was even though I had already told him. Sometimes he would ask if I had talked to certain coworkers that day, almost like he already knew the answer. Once he randomly asked if I would ever hide conversations from him. I thought he was just feeling insecure, so I tried to reassure him.

Last weekend everything finally made sense.

We were having dinner at home and he admitted that several of those situations weren't random at all. He said he had been intentionally creating little situations to see if I would lie to him. Sometimes he would ask me about conversations he already knew happened because he wanted to see if my story stayed the same. One time he even asked one of his friends to invite me to a group event that he secretly knew I couldn't attend because I was visiting my parents, just to see if I would make up an excuse instead of telling the truth.

I was shocked because I never realized I was being tested. I asked him why he would do that instead of just talking to me if something was bothering him.

He said his last relationship ended because his ex cheated on him for months and he completely missed the signs. He told me he promised himself he would never be fooled again, so he needed proof that I was trustworthy before he could fully relax.

I understand that past experiences can leave scars and I genuinely feel bad for what he went through. At the same time, I can't stop thinking that for half a year I was unknowingly taking loyalty tests I never agreed to. Instead of building trust together, he was quietly looking for reasons not to trust me.

He insists that I "passed" every test and says I should actually feel good because now he knows I'm honest. That somehow made me feel even worse. It made me wonder if there will always be another test whenever he feels anxious.

He apologized and said he'll stop doing it, but now I find myself questioning every odd interaction we've had. I don't know if I'm overreacting because of how strange the confession was, or if this is a much bigger issue about trust that could affect our future together.

I love him and I know people carry baggage from previous relationships, but I also don't want to spend years proving my honesty over and over.

Am I overreacting for feeling deeply uncomfortable about this, or is this something that should make me seriously reconsider the relationship?

TL;DR: My boyfriend of three years admitted he had been secretly testing my honesty for months because his ex cheated on him. He says I passed every test and apologized, but I feel like trust can't be built through secret loyalty tests. Am I overreacting for questioning the relationship now?