Is normal that I don't want the traditional life or tradwife?

I am 18 year old Christian guy and I really hate the traditional view of life and submission.

I really want my partner to be a person of their own needs,but I am kinda ugly and nerdy.

Still I would want to save myself for marriege.

Sometime I am judged for my choice by some Christians,I am just deeply troubled and hurt and looking for advice.