I feel sub human

I 14m has nothing that im good at than being a defective human being. My life is just ruined all my friends just simply with me when there are nobody and would leave the moment someone shows and If i dont have friends it doenst mean Im a nerd with good grades im failing all my classes and havent studied for the whole school year.

I have severe ocd whenever i look or touch an object something in my snaps and i keep telling myself I broke it so do it again to prove I didnt break it but that triggers it more and I keep repeating the painful process.

I've learned to purge since I was 10 and I would lock myself in the restroom get the water running and start vomiting without everyone knowing. I did stop about 6 months ago but that doesn't change anything. Im also midget at 5 foot 3 and has chronic insomnia. I tried to ask my parents if they could take me to a doctor but they reply with the same thing saying that they would consider it if I worked harder and become a better person. It was also miserable being with my family.

I just gave up at a point trying to fix things and the only thing that helped me was playing video games and now im starting to suck at that too. I know this all makes barely any sense but it is the best I can possibly say it.

I Apologies for my bad grammar. English is not my first language.