I just wanted somewhere to vent i might overshare so just bear with me

Ok so this is what happened and u would like to know if im overreacting or not so
Me: 15yo mom older brother : 17 and would be referred to as N so these are the main people ig sp this all started when i first learned to talk so maybe when i was 4 and N for some reason didnt like that so every time i would talk he would hit me and no one really did anything about it my dad was emotionally absent he wasnt really there and never really did anything and my mom would just ignore me she didnt do anything so this went on and i thought it was normal like yea everyones brothers just beats them so fast forward to age 8 where a few friends from school were talking about how good their siblings are and that they play with them and i just couldnt understand ? Like i was really surprised that was the first moment i realised that my life wasnt normal so basically i wasnt allowed to talk so i just stopped i stopped talking even if i was sick or hurt or if anything i was scared that i would get beat and my brother hit for many other things mainly opening doors any door for that matter so even now open doors scare me i cant stay in a room where i cant close the door so fast forwars again to middle school my brother didnt stay home as much so i finally enjoyed some peace and quite and at this time im very ashamed to say it but i started to talk to some guys online ( this was in an arab country ) and went out with them and did the thing i was just craving some attention and validation i was really thinking straight so no one really found out but about that same time school became hell no one really liked me and i got bullied a lot cuz i was the kinda fat kid with no tongue and couldnt talk back from so this went on for 4 years of middle school and to this day i cant talk and i cant hold relationships or friendships and i think i have bod the symptoms match and i swear im not doing this for attention this is truly what happened and when i read it out loud it feels like im overreacting and the people in my life say so too