GF (28F) is showing extreme reactions to everything, how do I (29M) navigate this?

We haven’t been together for super long, and to give some context, I am an autistic individual who has only ever dated one other person. I have very little experience and I struggle with reading emotions/implied reasoning. With that, I still try my best to be as understanding as possible and to give her the support she needs.

Whenever we’re together everything seems fine for the most part. There are times where she’s been upset and cried and I’ve done my best to comfort her. The issues lie whenever we’re not together. We’ll spend the weekend together and as soon as Monday hits, there’s a huge issue that somehow arises and it carries into the following days.

When we first got together, I had set some pretty standard boundaries; I need time to myself so I can reset after stressful days so I don’t become overwhelmed, I value open and honest face-to-face communication, don’t try to change my core values and I would prefer if she didn’t drink heavily around me.

That being said, it seems like every single one of my boundaries have been ignored while I continue to get in trouble for something or another. Whenever she takes issue with something, she won’t tell me to my face. She waits until after we spend time together and I think everything is fine before dropping a huge bomb in my texts and it drags out for days. Usually I apologize and take accountability for how I’ve made her feel, explain my actions or my positioning without trying to minimize the gravity of the situation to her and also try to explain my own feelings. Whenever I bring up how she’s crossed one of my boundaries, it just gets thrown back into her feelings were hurt so her behavior was justified.

One of the main reasons I don’t like her drinking heavily around me is because it makes me uncomfortable and it’s an emotional state I can’t handle. Now, I don’t care if she drinks or even gets drunk around her friends, but with me I’d prefer to avoid it. Our second date ended with her drunk and crying in my car because she was scared I’d leave and never talk to her again. From then on I told her I don’t want her drinking like that around me. We went to a party later on to meet my friends where she drank again and not only was it uncomfortable for me, but she started an argument with me and tried to get a friend of mine to agree with her that my relationship with a friend of 15+ years was weird and inappropriate (calling me weird as well) for having discussed personal issues (like periods, sexual history, whatever) with each other while we were in our early 20s. She made myself and my friend so uncomfortable that once I told her “hey I don’t want to talk about this here, let’s move on” and she began sulking in silence, my friend and I left to go to the kitchen and tried to give her space.

That started a whole explosion of how I wasn’t there for her and how I shouldn’t have left her alone and she sat on the porch and cried cause it was like I didn’t care. I told her my issue and the way she crossed the boundary of mine and even insulted me but she responded with “well I was upset.” That crosses into every argument, she brings up she doesn’t like how I talk with my friends, she thinks all of the relationships I have with them are weird and inappropriate because we’ve talked about personal issues and that’s something she’d never do with her own friends. She thinks my hobbies are weird and doesn’t like that I have friends online as well as in person. She thinks my interest in sports are gross and she doesn’t like it. She doesn’t hang out with her own friends, she doesn’t talk to anyone outside of me or her therapist and it’s become very stressful.

Whenever she takes issue or has a major mental health crisis, she unloads it all onto me. She’s even gone as far as telling me she’s had serious plans of ending herself and was contemplating things for a month and I had tried to tell her to contact her therapist, a crisis hotline or anything because I don’t know her exact address so I couldn’t get help to her or go to her if I wanted to. She kept brushing stuff off and then ghosted me for a whole day which really freaked me out.

She’s now upset because she went through my computer while I was at work after she stayed over and found that I was venting to a friend of mine during her crisis on what to do and how stressed and panicked I was as well as venting on other issues that were brought up. She’s upset because she said I talked negatively about her and I crossed a boundary of hers. Apparently mine have never mattered but I apologized anyway because I can see how it upset her. She won’t acknowledge or apologize for any time she’s upset me, she just says I keep turning things back onto her and says she’s doing all the work but I feel the exact opposite. Idk what to do, if there’s anything to do, or if there’s any way to just remedy this/move on.

TLDR: I’ve only been dating my girlfriend for a short time, but despite clearly communicating my boundaries from the beginning, I feel like they’re consistently ignored while I’m expected to apologize and take accountability anytime she’s hurt, even though my concerns are often dismissed. She frequently criticizes my long-term friendships, hobbies, and need for alone time, relies on me during severe mental health crises while refusing professional help, and recently went through my computer and became upset after finding messages where I had privately vented to a friend because I was overwhelmed. I genuinely don’t know if this relationship can be repaired or if these are signs that it’s become unhealthy and I should walk away.