I need help and advice

Even though it might not look like it if you take a look at my page, but I’m confused about my sexuality I have been battling these internal thoughts since I can remember and for the longest time I was beating this “sissy” kink into my brain thinking that’s what I wanted and even though it does turn me on it sounds great. I could never give up being a man. I have this problem where I really get into the idea of being a bottom (and maybe even topping) the problem is I bail most of the time and even one time I was bent over ready to start the action and I just told him no and asked him to leave. The idea of dick and getting fucked sounds so amazing and even with my dildo I get so much pleasure it is unbelievable. But there’s just something about picturing a man and kissing him and all that stuff. It just really doesn’t do it for me, It’s like I only like the bottom half. I guess there’s really no point in this whole post. I just kind of want to find somebody that I could talk to about this and maybe if they’re going through the same thing because on the other side, I have no problem with girls and I love them and they always turn me on, and then with the people I’ve talked to they’ve just said we’ll just ask your partner to pegg you, but it really is not the same I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of a girl pegging me. It just doesn’t turn me on, so yeah I’m just asking for advice or maybe somebody to talk to somebody’s opinion I don’t know. Please help.