This is my story of how I battled my addictions and how one person saved my life. My best friend. My permanent drug of choice.

17 years of addiction, trying to battle my trauma in all the wrong ways… lost my father, my boyfriend, my best friend, and in result handled it all wrong. I turned to alcohol, spiraled to opiates, and wound up on heroin and couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Vicious cycles, one substitution to the next.

In December of 2024, my deceased exes friend reached out to me asking what had happened to Sam while he was locked up in prison for several years. I hadn’t moved on past his death, didn’t know how to, which had me in a current path of destruction and shoving any possible numbness in my body. I gave storm, this young man, the run around for months… and finally decided to meet up with him to explain what had happened to Sam in person. I felt immediate guilt for even associating with a friend of his. I had been manifesting alone for years feeling as if I would be alone forever.

I arrived at storms house to explain things, half alive. Shot up in his bathroom. Violated his home and cried as I told him the story the best I knew how.

That was the last time I shot heroin. The immediate friendship I gained that night, was enough for me to feel feelings for this individual I hadn’t felt in so long… my desire to use needles abruptly left my mind. However, I was left with withdrawal and the lingering guilt of this was my exes friend. He sat with me for hours, days, weeks, months, and now years, helping me recover from addiction patiently… I realized over time that Sam gave me this man to help me when he left. I never in 1000 years would have seen myself coming off of hard drugs and dealing with my emotional chaos without him. I made this post as an appreciation for him, but also to encourage others that there is hope in addiction. Not saying a relationship is the key to getting sober by any means… bc it’s not. They say you cannot love someone until you love yourself and that has proven true throughout this process/relationship of mine. But it is possible for two addicts to bond through trauma and recover together.

For the longest time he and I felt guilty due to the circumstances of Sam being our shared friend and my past partner. But realizing I couldn’t sit around self destructing and giving up on life and love, made a world of difference. You can’t stay stuck. Sam would have wanted us both happy and healthy and we have gotten there, together.

People hated us together, and still do. That’s fine. At the end of the day, you realize life is short and you don’t get days of pity and self sabotage back. Heal. Find your trauma roots. Embrace them head on. And stop destroying your body.

I am now recovering from my third surgery in 2 years. With this beautiful soul here next to me day in and day out. He shows up unlike anyone ever has and encourages me to keep pushing. I love myself again. I love him. And I love knowing that Sam sees the two of us striving to make him proud as a team… everything happens for a reason. You CAN get sober. And someone can love you properly if you let your walls down and stop the chaos. It’s just my story… he has no idea I even posted this. I hope to encourage someone out there to love again after loss. You’re worth it.

Love Dana ❤️

How Sam saved us.