How do I help her?

Hey all. So I guess I'm at a point I don't know what else to do so I want to see if anyone here would be able to help.

I have a friend, she is a lot younger than myself but we have been in a friend's with benefits situation for over a year.

We have gotten quite close in that time and know most things about each other however she struggles to talk about her problems.

Her previous relationship was toxic and they would argue alot over messages and calls and didn't really talk so she's carried that with her into this I believe.

If something is troubling her or I've said something she won't always tell me, will hold it in until the point the littlest things piss her off and then explodes. A few times throwing things around the room etc,saying things out of anger that she doesn't mean.

Me being older I've been in talkless relationship situations aswell and I have said it's not something I want to repeat as does she.

When times are great they are amazing, we have a great laugh and it's very care free. She suffers with depression and anxiety so has down days mixed with the good. Which I'm there for her, support her and try to help

The type of bloke I am, I listen but then try to hell solve the situation to avoid the sadness it's causing but sometimes she says I don't listen and she just wants someone to listen to her, which I thought I did.

During arguments she has multiple times said I'm not there for her or I don't compliment her enough or I can't give her what she wants.

But then it's I'm her person and she relies on me and she likes being around me. So to some degree I'm at a loss.

When this first started we were both in agreement we didn't want a relationship and it was just casual fun (we had been friends for a few years before) but she's recently said she wants everything that comes with a relationship, the flowers,date nights etc but not the label of it. But then recently said she wants a relationship but not with me. As well sometimes I don't always put the effort in.

I work full time,I believe I am currently experiencing burn out due to the stress of my job, not enjoying it as much, moving back in with my parents to save some money as running a house on my own was killing me. I can't remember the last time I felt full of energy. But if we see each other I will try and give her everything I have but I know sometimes it isn't all there which I feel shit for.

Has anyone had experience with anything like this themselves or know someone who has? She said we don't talk or solve situations but I've said how can i try and talk About it and sort it out if she doesn't talk to me so I know what the problem is in the first place? Or do I just suck at this?

Multiple times In the heat or moment she's told me this is done and it's finished but then it's fine again for a few weeks or so.

I know she's insecure and struggles but I think she's absolutely gorgeous and do tell her that but she doesn't believe me.

Are we just at different life stages maybe?

Me moving back in with my parents means we are further apart which she hates. We used to hang out 3 or 4 times a week which is now reduced to mainly weekends but then usually she's at work weekends too.

I genuinely enjoy what we have and I don't want it to stop, she had said if we stopped sleeping together then we couldn't be friends so that would be the end of the friendship completely which I would hate as would she.

Am I in the wrong for wanting her to communicate better with me?