Dyscalculia vs not having learned math properly

Note: this whole thing is probably confusing to read cuz im stressed so you can prob skip the massive paragraph if you want

So i've been bad at math my whole life, 5th grade was i think the last time i consistently did math homework (although i obviously stopped doing the hw cuz it was boring and hard lol). I'm now currently in a situation where im so ass at math it genuinely has me wondering if this is more than just not studying enough. I dont really know whats considered normal and looking up the symptoms it feels like i have a few but not all. Ig examples from when i was younger: middle school: it took me genuinely a year to understand how negative numbers worked (learned them in 7/8th grade and only started to understand them around 9th grade), i always felt like i answered easy math questions (i.e 5x0) slowly until sometime in high school. Highschool: had trouble understanding and like visualizing geometry as well as comprehending what math questions were even asking for, i was in french immersion for a while (so french math) and thought this was the issue but unfortunately math in english isn't much more comprehensible to me. I would make really stupid mistakes like not adding a negative sign/ not registering it, flipping a fraction and i have this weird issue where i occasionally switch 4 and 5 (cuz they both start with an f i think). I remember this one test i had done in physics that had asked me to do some division of a variable which i instead wrote as a multiplication (and realized 5 min before the quiz ended). I had a crazy hard time in calculus and couldnt understand anything about finding volumes lol. Finally it would take me an egregious amount of time to complete math related homework (ex: took me like 4 hours after class to finish 1 homework set for physics, essentially meaning i had no time for any other homework) University (current): i genuinely can't get through my math courses along with just a lot of procrastination. Doing math problems can take me hours even when i google as much as i physically can. Math also makes me super anxious and i end up procrastinating doing anything

HOWEVER the reason why i cant tell is because, as i said, i pretty much tapped out of anything math related when i was 10 and since then have practically avoided the subject like the plague. I cant pay attention in math class even while on medication because its confusing and boring (my head starts hurting sometimes), i forget to do a lot of assignments and i don't really practice either because as i said, its confusing, boring and seems to make me pretty anxious (like crying, lashing out, brain fog etc).

I'm asking this because i really dont know if i have an actual math disorder or if this is just a product of me being a procrastinator (adhd). Did my poor math skills stem from not engaging much with the subject or does me not engaging with the subject come from like intrinsic poor math skills?

Oh also if you want to: can you tell me what dyscalculia feels like for you? Like what do you struggle with specifically? I have a friend who has it and she's much worse at math than i am but a part of me wonders if the reason why i'm better is because i've been in stem for so long – like im about as good as someone who doesnt take math courses but im way way worse than anyone who does (so im below where i should be)

This is probably worded really poorly but im very stressed right now so i'm sorry about that. Please be kind if you're going to insult me for not trying hard enough i've already heard it.