Just need some advice and love.

I am 34m and I came back to living with my parents to help them with health concerns. The last two years have been an absolute gauntlet for me.

Starting two years ago my mom was diagnosed with glioblastoma. I then became her main caretaker. I took her to all of the radiation appointments and then the trauma started. I came home from work to find her telling me her chest hurt, but she didn't want to tell dad, she ended up having a PE. Emergency surgery was the immediate option, and of course lots of sleepless nights, things seemed to get better and quieter as the year turned to 2025.

But, nope it got way worse. I was shaken awake to help deal with a fall, and found mom as she was lying in a pool of her own blood on the bathroom floor after slipping from a shower. On another occasion I walked in on her just as she started to seize with a grand mall seizure. And that's just the light stuff. A few months in the year my grandma was put on hospice for dimentia, I already knew that was coming and had expected it for the last 7 years, she was 92 when she passed.

Then in June my old roommates dog, who I helped raise, got a rare autoimmune disease from a bug bite and passed away. Two weeks after that my roommate called me hysterical, her mom just died from medical malpractice. I used to help take care of her mom all the time: I would get her medications, groceries, and she was homebound so I would often sit with her and just talk, so the death felt like a low blow. That was my June.

The summer was okay for me but I was starting to grieve. Then the fall hit like a train. Mom started acting weird, dad was disassociating and I ended up parenting him as well. I have background in health care so I ended up writing out action plans in the case of certain situations if I was out of the house. I took mom to the hospital in August and they found she had Ketoacidosis so she was hospitalized again, and then they ran an MRI and told me that the cancer had come back, it was inoperable, and she had to go on hospice. So dad, being a wreck wanted to stay with mom and I was sent out of state to tell family and friends in person that my mom was dying.

While I was up I got to see my grandma on her birthday, no I didn't tell her about my mom. I did tell my aunt and let her decide whether or not to tell my grandpa, since he is 95. Then I headed back down south. Dad decided to go back to England to tell family in person, but also it was just such bad timing and so I was left with setting up hospice myself. Two weeks in I got the call I was expecting and my grandma had passed. I decided not to tell my mom, because I didn't want her last weeks or months to be spent in grief, and we are all Christians and I figured she would see grandma soon enough, God willing. 19 days later and mom died, dad and I were right next to her holding her hand telling her how loved she was. I went to work in person a few days later and asked for grieving time and they gave me three days for mom, but since I was on leave when my grandma died they weren't going to give me any time for my Grandma. Literally a week later, my childhood best friend called me and told me that her mom passed away unexpectedly from stage 4 uterine cancer. I ended my year in shock.

This year started and in February I was told by my old roommate, who is just a really good close friend, the she was diagnosed with stage 4 genetic cirrhosis of the liver. It gets better or worse, 2 months later my dad's job decided to fire him for taking so much time off with mom. So now I am the only one taking care of finances. After my mom died, her side of the family effectively decided to ghost me for monetary intentions with my sole surviving grandparent which I think is just horrible. In June I was going to head back up to the state my family is from to hold a celebration of life, and I kid you not, one of my close work buddies got killed in a motorcycle accident.

All this to say I am just so so numb right now. Yes, I am in therapy but it only helps so much. Where do I even start? I feel like it is so much it just can't be real, but it is.