[M4F] You are just a little too perfect

It sounds conceited when you say it out loud; t sounds like something a cartoonishly prideful sitcom character would say, but in your case, it just happens to be true, painfully true. You are just a little too perfect. You are the steak that is too juicy, the lobster that is too buttery.

Your body is perfect; you don't even work out that hard, but it's still just perfect. With that nice narrow waist, flat, toned stomach, and those perfectly perky tits in that supposedly golden ratio of 45:55, despite how large they are, it is only rounded off by nice wide hips that never cease to drive men feral. Clothes always fit you perfectly, as if every clothing designer used a mannequin based on you.And that's just your body... your face is the real smoke show. Eyes that luster like dark diamonds, a nose and mouth that dance on the line between cute and striking, and cheekbones that cut a figure that cannot be ignored. Your skin is simply flawless (except perhaps a light dappling of freckles or beauty mark), and you've only ever needed to wear makeup for costumes. The way you look waking up would take most women 45 minutes in infront of the mirror to achieve.

Despite your looks being enough to bag even billionaires, they aren't all you have going on. You are smart; you have a pleasant demeanor and a sense of humor. You treat people so well that it tends to infuriate people looking for a reason to hate you. No one as pretty as you should ever be as nice as you; it just doesn’t make any sense. You even somehow manage to stay humble and grounded. You are, in short, a perfect woman.

However, that perfection causes problems. For one, what are the odds that you'll ever meet a man as perfect as you? You learned a long time ago that if he exists, you are going to spend the best years of your life lonely as can be as you look for him. Sure, you might come across a man who is as handsome as you are pretty, but usually they have all the personality of a wet paper bag; if you are lucky, a wet paper bag on illegal aphrodisiacs if you aren't.

So maybe you will date down a little bit, finding a guy who is just a little bit uglier than you and a little poorer than you would ideally like but is a good, upstanding, virtuous man. But all of them so far are terrified of you or treat you like a piece of artwork to be contemplated but never actually engaged with. Just being around you makes them feel insecure, makes them feel all of their flaws. Or they go too far in the other direction, simping and fawning, treating you like a goddess, not a human being. You want someone who treats you with respect, not someone who will make an idol out of you.

So one day, you get the idea of trying something radical, trying to date someone far below your normal standards for looks and income, and you focus entirely on moral character, settling on someone (a friend of a friend, co-worker, or other relationship) that you would have never even humored romantically previously. He is not ugly, just... bland. His face is nothing to write home about; maybe his eyes are a little pretty, but his cheeks are a little too thick and his jaw is a little too round. His body is... simply not in the best shape (though you could probably change that) from a sedentary office job and love of carbohydrates that left him on the chubby side of a dad bod. You don't even want to speculate on what swings between his legs. He also works a boring, dead-end pencil-pusher job, a clerk at a law firm or a pencil pusher for the local government permitting office, where he makes enough to get by, but not nearly enough to treat a woman like you right.

But there is one thing about him that does capture your imagination, his heart of gold. You've heard (or seen, depending on the relationship) that this man might just be a saint. He is the type of man who carries around gift cards to hand to the homeless, who has been late to work because he helped calm down a panicking teenager in their first car accident, who will stop in the pouring rain to help change a tire, and who keeps a shovel in his car to help dig people out of snowbanks in the winter. He is just a plain, boring bureaucrat, but he volunteers at soup kitchens and in search and rescue teams. He talks about how his retirement goal is to raise and train search and rescue dogs.

He has the most golden heart you've ever seen, in his quiet, plain way. You know he is single and probably lonely. The only question is, are you willing to take a chance with him?

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Hello! I hope you enjoyed my little take on a "one hot, one not" cliché. I want to set up a dynamic that is very wholesome, where the very hot woman knows she is settling for someone not hot but does so because she loves things about him that aren't physical. And the man will initially be a little suspicious or even a bit freaked out by her attention but eventually come to see beyond her terrifyingly good looks and find a heart a lot like his. Send me your favorite dog breed if you've read this far.

Obviously I want this to be wholesome and full of fluff, but this is "dirty" pen pals, so the dirty stuff is definitely on the table and up for discussion. I would love to come to work together to see what their bedroom life would ideally be like. I am a switch with plenty of kinks, so pretty much whatever you think would be fun, fitting, sexy, or cute, I am probably up for. Whatever you like, I'm happy to discuss it with you.

So, I hope to see you in my DMs, but even if not. Have a good morning, good evening, and good night.