What helped you decide to stay?

First off, thanks to everyone who has been responding to my posts. Its heavy, so I dont always respond, but its very much appreciated.

So for those of who's Q is their partner, what helped you decide to stay? (Aside from children, convenience, finance, and other logistical things)

What behaviors did your partner exhibit that reinforced your trust?

I know we can't expect total abstinence, but what were some green flags that said their heart was in it?

For those who's Q was also battling depression and disability, how do you tease those hardships apart from addiction. I know I cant cure his alcoholism or be his therapist, but what can i do to support his non-alcoholic struggles? They are all very linked.

The answer to some of these is detachment, i know, but so far that is just leading to drifting apart. I am much happier, personally, but interpersonally things are as bad as ever. Its seeming like the signs are pointing to divorce, but i want to exhaust all other options first. We're planning on couples therapy, for starters

I love my partner, been together 16 years, I can imagine growing old and all that. But not like this.