Can you talk me out of my cognitive distortion?

i saw somewhere that as (in that post, a nonbinary person) you can either stay in the closet and be misunderstood, or come out and be yourself and still be misunderstood. The message there was, might as well come out so you can be yourself, since you will be misunderstood either way. I agree in theory.

however, the knowledge that as a genderfluid person (I think) (and/or nonbinary) even coming out and using they/them pronouns seems scary and pointless, because some people will always just misgender me anyways.

I’m afab and have realized I’m fluid within the past 6ish months. Initially I was like, I don’t mind if people still think I’m a woman, as long as I know what I am (more than just a woman) inside. But lately, when people refer to me with she/her, it often just feels wrong.

and since this is also new to me, I am also scared to have to explain myself, when I still havent figured everything out yet. I figure in theory the best way to know if I like different pronouns is to try them, but even a good friend asking about my pronouns when I put she/they in my insta bio led me to freak out.

what made you feel safe to “come out,” whatever that means to you? did/do you have thoughts like these and how did you work with them?

thanks yall