Taking an antibiotic even with severe anxiety

I posted on here quite recently about how i no longer avoid anything due to my emetophobia and only get anxiety when i am actively nauseas, so i feel a bit silly now talking about how badly i didn’t want to take my antibiotics today.

Got given some amoxicillin for a very mild suspected bacterial cough and i was (still am) genuinely terrified of it making me sick. I developed moderate gastritis the last couple of months (no idea why) and feeling so nauseas everyday made my phobia relapse so badly but i was able to push through avoidance behaviours and only slipped into a few coping mechanisms like chewing gum etc.

Now the gastritis has calmed down with medicine and i’m suddenly being asked to take antibiotics and have been both terrified of being sick and of it making my gastritis flare up again. I spent all of yesterday and this morning coming up with every excuse i could to avoid taking it; the infection is only mild, i could feel worse on them than i do off them, what if i make my stomach bad again and so on.

BUT despite an hour of sobbing trying to eat some toast and gagging every time i tried to put the pill in my mouth i took it anyway around 2 and a half hours ago and so far i am absolutely fine!!

I felt very sick for about an hour afterwards (maybe anxiety, maybe as a side effect who knows) and instead of having a full blown panic attack i was able to lay in bed and do my best to accept whatever came.

I am due to take my second dose in about an hour and a half. I am still absolutely terrified and having no side effects to this dose does not mean i absolutely will not be sick but i know that even if i do i will be okay so i am very very proud of myself.