Tomorrow is one year since my second TFMR

Last year this was an insane time for me. My wedding was 9/6/25 and we said goodbye to our second pregnancy on 8/6/25. I put so much of it away so I could try to be a bride. I’m just empty right now. My cousin and I were pregnant at the same time this time around and she won’t stfu about her 4 month old. I love her. I’m happy for her. But I don’t understand and it hurts every fkn day. I hate this reality. I literally just want to crawl in a hole and die right now. I started antidepressants in May and I don’t know if they’re working anymore. My body knew the anniversary was here before my brain did. I was soooo melancholy this past week for me to just realize what’s happening.