Body image issues

I (22M) had been going to the gym for almost 3 year now. I am proud of my progress, but recently I think I realised something about some bulking issues.

I used to be much skinnier, and I didn't have an issue with devoting myself to bulking up and having some dirty bulk trials to reach my goals. Ofc I experimented a lot, went on small cuts as well, etc. I put on almost around 30 kgs of mass from my usuall past self. I am just saying that I didn't shy from taking calculated risks and learn from them which I don't regret. Recently tho, I attempted "my last bulk" because I heard that as a natural bodybuilder I still got some mass that I could squeeze out of me before I would hit mostly the limit of my body.

But I realised how much it consumed my life. I have a poor apetite, so I would spend hours just stuffing myself, pulling all nighters, or my body just being naturally tired at some point and falling asleep before I could achieve my daily macros which would frustrate me

So I thought to myself that based on my life goals in the future, I need more time for other stuff, other goals. Even if I did reach that weight goal, who knows how much I could mentain it. I mean, on the other hand, the weight I thought it would be hard to mentain before did become my "default" now with time, so who knows, but still

So for now, I made a choice to take control of my life again. I need more time to live my life. I am proud that I reached the goal for a while, and maybe one day the challenge will be on again, but for now it is time for a cut to allow myself to live life more. While trying to not see myself as much smaller altho I am heavier than when I thought I looked pretty big, so there's that