[F4M] Sometimes I Need to be Fucked in a Way that isn't Possible with Someone Who Loves Me

I lead a double life. I'm a dutiful housewife to a wonderful husband. I teach Sunday School. I sing in the choir. I volunteer at a crisis hotline. I like hiking, tennis, and I keep a reef aquarium. Everyone who knows me thinks I'm a wholesome, virtuous person.

Everyone except the black men who know my other side. They don't know my real name, where I live, or even my phone number. But they know I like to be used, degraded, humiliated, and passed around. To them, my only purpose in life is to make black cocks cum.

I don't consider either side the "real me". They are both authentic. I wish I wasn't turned on by the things that turn me on. My secret life didn't start when I got married. It's been going on for years. I've cheated on all my boyfriends. Somehow, I've never been caught. I tried to stop after I got married. It lasted about 6 months. I know I'm a horrible person. I feel a tremendous amount of guilt. At least when I'm not horny, I do. When I'm horny, the guilt morphs into erotic shame. And right now, I'm horny.

I'm looking for an intelligent, articulate pervert over the age of 25 to chat with.