I let the same friend break my heart twice

I had a best friend from middle school, all through high school, and we started our adult lives side by side.

She was to be my maid of honor in my wedding, but she dropped out because I communicated that I didn't feel like I was important to her because she missed a lot of important stuff, like dress shopping, and I was really hurt by her absence.

We had a huge falling out, she even picked up all of my bridesmaids dresses (I have no idea why they released them all to her, probably because she was listed as MOH?) and she kept them for several weeks trying to negotiate the conditions on when I could have my bridesmaids dresses back.

Eventually my sister-in-law got the dresses back from her and we didn't speak for roughly five years. I had never been more heartbroken. I lost my only true friend. My soul sister.

I was out to a family dinner at Applebee's and saw my former friend. She was a waitress. I didn't say anything to her and she didn't say anything to me. A few days later, she found me on social media, and messaged me that she saw me and wanted to meet up and talk because she missed me.

We met up and were inseparable again, like nothing ever happened. For the past six years, she has been my best friend. We have laughed, cried, had sleepovers, gone on girls vacations. She's been an aunt to my daughter.

And then it happened again. One week ago, after she canceled plans on me last minute, two days in a row, I spoke up again how I didn't feel like I was important to her. I have been really struggling this summer. I unexpectedly lost my job a few months ago and haven't been able to find a new one. I'm really worried about not being able to help my husband support our family. I've had some other struggles and I've kept them to myself because she's been working on a masters degree and having marital troubles. So I've tried my best to be there for her, but the moment I spoke up again that I didn't feel she cared about me the same way...

She sent me one final text, including the words "you are one of the highest people on my priority list" and then ghosted me. Maybe even blocked me. It's been a week and I haven't heard from her once. We used to text and use social media every day, sometimes all day.

The moment I had a need, I ceased to exist.

Maybe the next time I see her in an Applebee's I won't be so naive.

I am so lonely.