Raised in my sister’s shadow, but expected to step up as the eldest. How do I rebuild my life?

My younger sister and I have a 2-year age gap, but growing up, my mother raised us as if we were in the exact same grade, taking the same subjects(even in uni), and getting equal opportunities. She always said she wanted us to be best friends(kisi aur dost ki zaroorat hi nhi but that's not my sister), but at the same time, my family constantly compared us claiming my younger sister was smarter, got better marks, and excelled at everything.

Whenever I tried to complain, my mother brushed it off, saying she only wanted "what’s best for us." She always claimed we were equal, yet whenever things went wrong, the rules suddenly changed: *"You’re the older one, you should compromise. You're like a second mother to your siblings" *even to the sister who was treated as my peer.

Now that we are older, my mother claims I ended up "making us enemies," completely ignoring how the constant comparison and double standards affected me. Whenever I try to bring up how unfair this was, no one listens or takes my opinions seriously.

I’m now stuck after graduation and mentally exhausted. I feel like I’ve lost my identity, my dreams, and my hobbies, and I carry an overwhelming amount of guilt for everything.

I feel completely lost. How do I start rebuilding my life and moving past this?