I wonder who replaced me

Yesterday I went to the beach where almost three years ago he offered me his body in the cold. I sent him a video of the storm, of lighting striking the water. I wish the lightning would strike me.

I wonder who replaced me in his life, in his bed. Not only replaced, but surpassed. I discovered he follows hundreds of beautiful women on Instagram, and many of them follow him back.

If all that mattered in the end was beauty and elegance, why did he come into my life only to exterminate my heart?

I was confident before, proud of my bravery and hard work. I used to look down on women whose accounts were filled with nothing but selfies as solipsistic and slightly ridiculous. He follows them on Instagram.

Now, I hate the way I look. I compare myself to them and understand that he was also comparing me to them, especially at the end, when was already mentally checked out. The humiliation is unbearable. Today, I have not been able to get out of bed.