Why is consensual intimacy always described as something a man does to a woman

Something that genuinely pisses me off is how people in Pakistan talk about women and physical intimacy.

There’s a girl in my friend group who’s pretty open about her sexuality and she recently broke up with her boyfriend and started casually seeing some guys. She tells us about it because, well, we’re friends. When she’s not around, our "Friends" are like, “Ew, why is she letting all these guys use her?”

Like… use her for what?

If two adults willingly hook up, why is the guy automatically “using” the woman? She wanted it too. Where did her agency go?

As someone who's sexually active too, hearing people talk about her like this genuinely threw me off, truly reinforced why i am.so secretive about stuff like this.

And then it got worse, My situationship with was talking about another couple who broke up and said, “Damn, he really used her in her prime", i scoffed and he doubled down saying "harami ne uski jawani khai hai" Wtfffff

What the hell does that even mean? And honestly, it made me wonder, is that how he sees intimacy? Is that how he sees me? Like if we’re together, is he thinking he's “using” me?

It’s such a weird way of looking at women’s sexuality. Like women don’t actually want physical intimacy themselves. Men just “take” it from them, and somehow the woman is always the one being used.

Obviously this isn’t uniquely Pakistani, but I swear it’s so normalized here.

People are obsessed with women’s sexuality, while simultaneously acting like women having any agency over it is somehow degrading.

Why is consensual intimacy so often talked about as something men do to women, instead of something two people can just fucking choose to do?