I stopped taking my meds and I am doing better?

I stopped taking my meds. I have bipolar and bpd (there are no meds for bpd but the bipolar meds used to help with symptoms.
I haven’t been in a relationship so non of my bod symptoms have been very extreme cause that only happens when I’m dating and I feel better than ever.
Around November I wasn’t allowed to take my Lamictal anymore, doctor wouldn’t give it to me because I was too poor to afford appointments and distance between taking those meds could result in lamictal rash (it’s nasty). So she tried other things and that sent me into a psychosis that I crashed my car, got a dui and tried to off myself. So instead I stopped taking everything. I’ve been meds free a few months now and I have never been better. Not one episode, my issues are still there but I feel like I have a lot more control over myself than before. I can thank a lot of this to my best friend living with me rn but I’m really confused because before I was on meds (17yo) I was torchered everyday and now I’m (23yo) off for the first time and I feel more normal that I’d ever expected to. I’ve had therapy and I’m not a teenager anymore but I’m wondering if I’m gunna be ok or there is going to be a NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE type scenario happening soon. Also I’m staying the absolute FUCK away from relationships because that seems to be my number one trigger and if I can’t afford meds I don’t even wanna try. I also can tell I’ve been depressed and manic but the extremes are nothing like what they were before meds and therapy. I’m still super impulsive but I’m trying to figure out if I’m just waiting for the planes to hit or I’m literally doing ok because I’ve improved mentally. Thoughts?