My due date is coming up and it hurts a lot

My due date is coming up on September 15th.

The loss happened in the middle of March and I just started feeling better a few days ago.

But now I am ruminating on what it would feel like to still be pregnant, I’m sad that I didn’t “get” to carry this far into gestation, I’m sad that I am not planning a baby shower with all of my friends, I am angry at women who “get” to carry to full term and have a healthy baby the first time.

I feel like all this sounds bitter, selfish, and stupid. I haven’t talked about this with anyone besides my therapist and I am hoping posting here can help me feel less alone.

Thank you so much for any support ❤️