Anger

I truly feel in a state of constant anger, I have separated myself from everybody and I have no desire to interact with the world or others. I have hatred even towards my own children and their actions. Everything makes me angry.

I think what amplifies it is that I have lived this same life as Nicholas Bailey for hundreds of lifetimes now.... And now I can see all the variations of myself that have lived each moment and the choices that they made. It's like I'm some kind of computer program even my thoughts and actions are all the same since the last time I was in this moment. I thought that was supposed to be liberating. I remember the space in between life and death , the void in the moments of self-reflection that I have spent within its experience. I feel like I'm trapped in an infinite cyclical cycle that I cannot change even my dreams are the same. Each day is like living in a state of constant deja Vu and that doesn't even really describe it.

What is wrong with me... And I say that knowing that there is no me ... Why does everything reoccur the same way why am I trapped this way..