Damsel Causing Distress - Episode 5 (10) - Were You Counting Too?
Note: My (mis)adventures are part of a bigger series, but I wrote my tales in the format of an episodic T.V. show, where you can read an episode without the context of the others and still enjoy it. If anything, reading it out of order may be more fun. - A Theseus that lost count
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Our kidnapper's home was lovely, and her cats were all borderline obese. After some time Scout and Ludus finally got sober. That is to say, after we all immediately fell asleep after breakfast, for about twelve hours, the herb (as I soon learned) that drugged Scout and Ludus to be all honest and wobbly finally wore off.
We talked more to our former kidnapper, who I'm sure during last episode you all realized was that famous, cat loving botanist researcher. Talk about picking the right person to fund research for. We also read that fan fiction I posted yesterday, which was mostly Scout and I laughing our little butts off while Ludus blushed something awful.
And finally we found out more about our devilish kidnappers, and with the now fully sober girls, we all planned what to do next, and we took a shower, almost forgot about that, thank Hades. Not together, separately, looking at you Scout and me shippers. Though the Scout and Ludus shippers can stay, and are in fact welcome with open arms, because it’s funny.
It was Saturday morning, and by the afternoon we were in the labyrinth that was the abandoned subway tunnels under Victory. With a laminated map given to us by our former kidnapper, copied from the university archives.
The three of us all were given a flashlight, but I made sure to use only one. The dimmest we had, so we could all get used to the dark, and if anyone was following us, we didn’t light ourselves up like a beacon/dinner bell. It took Saturday night for all of it to go to Hell.
Scout fiddled with her clothes, “Dang it.” She was annoyed but didn’t sound particularly worried.
“What?” I asked but still didn’t take my eyes off the map.
“Running low on ammo, you?” She reached into various well hidden pockets, I looked up, she only had one extra magazine plus the one in her gun.
“Oh, damn didn’t even think about that, hold on let me check the secret pocket.” I handed the map to Ludus and felt around.
“Secret pocket?” Ludus tilted her head and pointed the flashlight at me. “But, it’s not a secret at all.” It wasn’t an insult, just an observation on her part. Scout ignored her innocent tone and snorted in response. Ludus pointed to my ‘secret pocket’, which is actually a worn dark leather pouch attached tightly to my belt. Before she once again pointed the flashlight dead ahead.
“The pouch isn’t the secret, it's what’s in it.” I gave the same canned phrase with that same stupid smile I have dozens, if not a hundred times before. I pulled out a spare cylinder. Ludus nodded thoughtfully in response, opposed to Scout who rolled her eyes at my continued shenanigans. As she did the first time I told her.
I felt the leather in my pouch, filled with six modified cylinders that go into my even more aggressively modified single action army that can ‘quickly’ (at least it’s quick when I do it) reload during a fight. The cylinders attached inside the pouch with more leather, making them secure but still easy to grab and reload with. Along with allowing spare snacks in the extra space, because I’m a genius.
With twenty eight rounds of spare ammunition stored in actually secret places on my person, used to fill said cylinders when I am not in the middle of a fight trying not to cry. Giving me sixty four spare taser rounds on my body, and another five in my gun when carrying it, as I carry on an empty chamber so I don’t shoot myself in the balls.
Giving me a grand total of sixty nine taser rounds. A number that was not intentional, but when I found out made sure to never change. A totally unreasonable amount for anyone, even a Human to conceal carry. I looked inside.
“Oh no.”
“What?” Scout’s tail stiffened.
“I’m running out of bullets.” I looked in the pouch again and padded myself down. The tunnels were cool, but humid in the same way a room filled with teenagers are, with the smell to match. Though at the exact moment, I started to sweat.
“How many?” Scout braced herself.
“Twenty two.” I counted once again. Two filled cylinders, one loaded with five rounds, in the pouch. The cylinder in my gun loaded with five, and absolutely zero spare ammo on my person.
“Damn it.” Scout grabbed the map from me and looked around. “We’re not even close to-”
“Run!” I barely noticed before her. The burst of light from a dozen or so mounted flashlights on pistols and submachine guns. We all broke out into a sprint, in the nearly pitch black tunnels. I felt my shoes smash into the ground, while I still had to slow myself down enough to stick with Scout and Ludus.
“Do we have enough?” Ludus gasped for breath and looked at the two of us. I turned to Ludus, my mouth slightly opened at the fact she paid any attention to a conversation about guns. Scout and I quickly turned our heads back while sprinting forwards.
“I counted seventeen.” Scout turned her head back forwards.
“Twenty.” I pulled out my gun. My grey eye for once being useful, it’s permanent dilation that makes me far too sensitive to light now forced me to always see better in the dark. Our stomachs collectively turned, as we heard twenty pairs of feet run towards us.
“I counted twenty as well.” Ludus gasped even harder now, nearly stumbling over something, as she grabbed my shoulder lest she fall.
“How many you got, again?” I asked.
“Two mags, only forty.” Scout pulled out her own weapon, and checked the chamber. A Caelum pistol.
We both thought for a moment, though still in a mad sprint.
“Save your ammo, I can take their magazines once they go down.” Scout said first.
“Right.” I nodded, “And Ludus.”
“Yes, Theseus?” I heard her wheeze even louder, it didn’t even sound tired, just painful. I barely made out what she said.
“Stay behind Scout.”
The three of us turned a corner as we made it to one of the platforms and we quickly jumped on the cold concrete floor. I saw a staircase and ran towards it first. While we still heard the two squads worth of kidnappers echoed boots, and soon to smell their B.O. We ran up the stairs but it was no use. Walled off, like every other exit of the long forgotten tunnels.
“What do we do?” Ludus whispered. Already behind Scout, but leaned close enough her hair tingled my neck, in the way that makes me flinch, and want to run away on all fours.
I thought for a moment. “You two stay here, I’ll lead them away. We don’t have any cover here. So, I’ll run with my flashlight on, they’ll think it will be all of us, you two stay behind, then Scout can go up behind them. Pincer maneuver them. I’ll turn around and shoot on your signal.” I looked at Scout.
She nodded. There wasn’t any useless arguing, Ludus or Scout didn’t beg me to stay or tell me how dangerous it was to be alone. Scout knew from enough experience a bad plan executed violently now was better than a perfect plan later. And the more I get to know Ludus the smarter and smarter I realize she is.
“Don’t be stupid.” Scout nodded.
“Don’t be stupid.” I nodded back.
I sprinted out of the stairwell. Flashlight on, I made sure to land loud. Purposely crashed into puddles, and did my best to make three peoples worth of noise. Soon I was out of the platform and back into the yawning infinity of those tunnels. The footsteps grew louder and closer. Their flashlights pointed in every direction as they ran towards me.
Four shots rang out behind me. The dull, echoey bass of Scout’s pistol went off in the tunnels. I saw their flashlights stop, as they planted in the tunnels, ready to fire back. I turned and sprinted towards them, until I saw one of them far away from the group. Bet he didn’t even know how far ahead he got. They turned around to see the noise. I raised my gun and fired.
The low light didn’t irritate my eye as I aimed, and for the first time since my injury I easily landed a taser round center mass on the kidnapper. His whole body flinched as the gun powder exploded and echoed throughout the tunnels. Even a non-lethal taser round sounded like a minor deity exploding compared to Caelum guns.
Then nothing.
It happened in less than a second. He turned wide eyed but completely unharmed and raised his gun. I fired again in a panic. He flinched more at just the sound and flash of my gun, as another taser round attached itself to his chest uselessly.
Nobody, not a single person I’ve shot with this round has been able to take it. Everybody goes down in one shot, whether you’re the biggest Grunta, a pissed off Caelum. Civilian or special forces. It’s not about toughness, or grit, or ‘believing in yourself’, it's biology, if you have muscles, it makes you go down.
And he was still up. I looked closer at what I hit and finally noticed it. He was wearing a ballistic vest and helmet. Taser rounds go through clothes just fine. Bullet proof vests not so much. I suppose they were less fond of subtlety now.
He raised his gun.
I looked at the still active taser rounds that pulsed on his vest without effect.
“Wait a minute.” I said to myself annoyed.
I shot him in the leg in the middle of my own sentence.
He screamed and landed on the ground hard, and flailed about.
“Scout, they got armor! Shoot them in the arms and legs!”
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Author’s Note: I feel like writing ‘cylinder’ this much on Reddit is a recipe for disaster. Also, although I did it during the last challenge, I didn't do it in this one, because I already have a plan for this story, but it’s really fun. So, I’m starting it back up again. If you want, dear viewer, give me some ideas for future episodes or one shots for this story. It’s only a rough plan, so I can definitely fit in interesting locations, side characters and things like that. And one shots are one shots, and can be basically anything related to the three.
Vaguely important second note: This series (for once), and bonus one shots are part of a writing challenge in which I write and post something every day until I finish writing the series. Thus being written like an episodic T.V. show.
Thanks for reading. :}
Day 8 / ?
Posted Aug 9, 2026, 3:41 AM UTC